How not to be afraid of anything anymore?
Written by: Loris Vitry (coach and Yoga teacher)
Validated by: Cathy Maillot (Osteopath)
Caution: If you have any medical questions or concerns, please speak to your doctor. Even if the articles on this site are based on scientific studies, they do not replace professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Fear manifests itself in all areas.
The fear of driving, the fear of speaking out in public, the fear of being betrayed in love are all situations that prevent moving forward.
It can also be a symptom of stress.
Sometimes you meet people who are perfectly at ease in society and who don’t seem to be afraid of anything.
Yet no one is born brave or fearful.
Controlling your fear is a skill that needs to be worked on and maintained every day.
Indeed, many fears come from an overestimation of the risks involved, the fear is very often irrational.
Showing courage does not mean no longer being afraid of anything, but rather finding the strength to overcome and overcome your anxieties.
Over the years, several books have been published on the subject, such as I stop being afraid! by Marie-France and Emmanuel Ballet de Coquereaumont.
They offer techniques to tame your fear.
Breathing to get fear out of your body
Although breathing is automatic, in a situation of fear or panic, we forget to breathe.
According to the book I stop being afraid, “fear does not tell the truth”.
It creates visual and auditory impressions strong enough for us to believe in it, we are then in the interpretation.
According to Emmanuel Ballet de Coquereaumont, “in reality it is an unconscious content which rises to the surface and exceeds us, modifying our perception of reality.
Someone tells us something, and we understand the opposite.
Fear is the sister of the imagination ”.
To get out of the second state in which fear puts us, we must breathe deeply through the whole body: breathing is done gradually at the level of the feet, stomach and torso.
This full breathing aims to act on the impressions and emotions responsible for losing control and limiting them.
Fear in general paralyzes completely.
Yet a deep self analysis shows that only a part of us is afraid and takes control.
Overcoming your fears involves listening to your inner fragility.
By the technique of introspection, it is a question of discovering “Who is afraid in me?”.
Behind every fear, there is an unfulfilled desire or need.
Treating only the symptom of fear therefore does not solve the problem.
To overcome it and move forward, you have to put names on your fear in order to better understand and manage it.
However, if the fear turns into crippling anxieties, see a specialist.
Getting to know yourself better allows you to assume responsibility, set goals and better understand your own limits.
During your introspection exercises, unmask anything that hinders your courage and list them.
Indeed, to become aware of your doubts and fears is to play down them.
This is the first step to overtake them.
In addition, you define the limits of your comfort zone.
Also list the places, situations and people that inspire you confidence and security.
We are more courageous when we have people to rely on in times of need.
Stop the shame and the guilt
Shame is never far from fear.
When we are afraid, instinctively, we find ourselves ridiculous.
The impression of being “null” leads to guilt and paralyzes all action.
Then we feel at fault for not taking action.
In these cases, it is often advised to “do violence to yourself”.
If this method works with some, for others, it only ends up further upsetting this vulnerable part of oneself.
Another technique proposed is to reassure the child in himself in order to give back his place to his sensitivity.
The objective of this technique is to harmonize the two parts which are in oneself: the child and the adult are one in reality.
While the norm today is to be always stronger, always more perfect, you have to have the courage to go against the grain and allow yourself to be afraid.
Accept yourself and allow yourself to live
Fear is the expression of prohibitions stemming from education, religion, and values advocated by society.
It is the result of a process of cultural adaptation.
To be accepted and loved, the individual accepts to comply with family and social requirements that are not always in line with their inner self.
This social pressure blocks the expression of his true personality and limits the range of possibilities of the concerned.
Psychopractors advise to offer new authorizations.
Write them in color on white sheets, then place them at home, in places where you visit regularly such as the kitchen for example.
As you read and reread them, you will believe them and start to integrate them.
For example, allowing yourself to have emotions without the fear of being judged.
Another beneficial thing to do is satisfy your needs and allow yourself to indulge yourself.
Learn to pay attention to yourself, to allow yourself to exist, then the fear will gradually disappear on its own in your life.
Hesitate less and act faster because fear and hesitation often set in when you take too long to make decisions.
Your decisions will sometimes turn out bad in hindsight, but at least you will have had the courage to make choices and especially to allow yourself to do things that suit you.
To have courage is to be able to assert yourself, to remain yourself and to face the consequences of your actions.
So it’s not about hiding your fears.
Acknowledging your fear is by no means an admission of weakness, on the contrary, it is to show courage and strip your anxieties of their paralyzing strength.
No longer being afraid begins by stepping out of your comfort zone.
It involves accepting to feel your fear and embracing it.
Force yourself to talk to new people, to change your daily habits, to discover new things that tempt you.
Getting out of your comfort zone takes some effort, but it’s a good way to build courage.
Keep in mind that fear is an emotion that is as natural as it is useful.
Indeed, being afraid allows you to instinctively move away from a potential danger.
Fear is an internal alarm.
It allows you to reduce risks and save your life.
There is therefore no question of removing it completely.
Rather, it is about learning to identify it, pay attention to it and analyze it in order to overcome it.
It is the disabling effect of fear that must therefore be addressed.