Fear of abandonment : how to overcome the phobia of being abandoned ?
Written by: Loris Vitry (coach and Yoga teacher)
Validated by: Cathy Maillot (Osteopath)
Caution: If you have any medical questions or concerns, please speak to your doctor. Even if the articles on this site are based on scientific studies, they do not replace professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Phobia is excessive fear due to a feeling which is characterized by a continuous presence in the daily life of the person who suffers from it.
Among the most common, fear of abandonment is on the list.
When a phobia is triggered in an individual, it affects all areas of his life and makes him always anxious.
From which arises the phobia of abandonment.
How to overcome this painful feeling?
You will find some answers in this guide.
Fear of abandonment : where does it come from?
It is often said that farewells are the most difficult.
Fear of abandonment is a phobia linked to feelings of rejection.
When you feel abandoned, you lose some of your self-esteem, and it affects your well-being.
To understand the fear of abandonment, let’s first discover its origins.
In most cases, it comes from a traumatic situation that you have experienced and that you have suffered the consequences.
These include grief, a painful breakup, betrayal, and unexpected departure, etc.
This disease can affect everyone, regardless of age.
For some children, the departure of the parents or reduction of the surveillance carried on them can trigger this phobia.
When they are too attached to the presence of parents, the lack of attention can be perceived as abandonment.
In the long run, this can cause trauma.
As for adults, very often, it is an untreated childhood disorder that continues to poison their adult lives.
The fear of rejection sometimes acts to their friendly or romantic relationship.
Indeed, the fear of being abandoned being anchored in their minds; they find it difficult to feel loved.
This loss of confidence leads to constant stress, hence the phobia of abandonment.
How does phobia manifest itself ?
Before starting a healing process, you must first recognize the symptoms.
Thus, a child who suffers from the abandonment phobia thinks that his parents do not love him.
The phobia manifests itself in tantrums whenever the parents want to go out.
Jealousy also occurs when the child feels neglected in favor of another (his little brother, for example).
In the case of adults, this painful fear can trigger low self-esteem and unhealthy behavioral habits.
To fill this void of affection, they can find refuge in food.
The phobic (an individual who has the phobia) can fall into a depressed state accompanied by suicidal thoughts in the most severe cases.
There are clear signs that the phobia of being abandoned has manifested itself.
Here are a few :
- the stress,
- anxiety and nervousness,
- the feeling of being empty,
- despair and low self-esteem,
- the constant search for affection,
- addictions (smoking, sex, food, drugs).
Recalling the traumatic element underlying phobia creates emotional blockages.
That’s why you have to get rid of it as soon as possible.
How to overcome the phobia of being abandoned ?
The treatment to be applied depends on the origin of the fear of abandonment.
Thus, to a child who suffers from this terrible condition, it will suffice to make him see the excessive exaggeration of his fear.
Also, you must tell him several times that he is loved.
He must understand that separation is not inevitable.
Overprotection is above all to be avoided, but do not force its independence.
Generally speaking, to feel accepted, you expect comforting words.
The abandonment phobia has many repercussions, both on professional life and on family and emotional experience.
Some people, find themselves in solitude, for fear of experiencing the pain of being abandoned again,
If you find yourself in one of these cases, don’t worry.
It is easy to overcome your fear.
For effective treatment, you can use psychosocial therapy.
When an expert accompanies you, you benefit from the follow-up, and the healing process is even faster.
Thanks to the hypnosis sessions, many people have seen their fear disappear considerably.
Indeed, the objective of this method is to help you identify the origin of your illness to accept it and move on.
Also, it is essential to start a thorough work on yourself.
It’s never too late to do it.
Learn to love yourself, because if you do not have this conviction of deserving of love, you will always have a fear of being abandoned.
Work on your confidence so that you can get rid of the discomfort.
Try “emotional detox”.
There are specific therapies for this purpose.
The idea is to help you release the emotions you’ve been dragging for a long time.
All this to detach you from the elements that block your well-being.
The fear of abandonment can push the phobic to behave irrationally.
The negative impact of the demonstrations on social relations is well established.
Especially when you are in a relationship, you tend to move from relationship to relationship for fear of being abandoned.
Sometimes an excess of jealousy can arise because you cannot bear to see your partner doing something other than showing affection.
Self-acceptance is an essential step in overcoming the phobia of abandonment.
You have to learn to give yourself what you expect from another person.
Dramatization will only make your fear worse.
Especially on the emotional level, avoid thoughts like: you are not worthy of love, and that is the reason why your partner cheated on you or left you.
You can take control of your life by taking a step back to find yourself.
Use breathing and meditation exercises such as yoga.
When your mind is purified, so will your body, and you can face life with a smile.
No one is exempt from the fear of abandonment.
Following a painful and often rejection event, some people are psychologically disabled.
This state of deep discomfort threatens their confidence.
Treatment is possible.
However, it can take time.
As soon as symptoms appear, it is crucial to have a professional follow you up to get rid of this problem and avoid addictive addictions.