Fusional love: risk of breaking up as a couple?
Written by: Loris Vitry (holistic coach)
Validated by: Cathy Maillot (Osteopath)
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Each individual dreams of sharing a bond with his or her partner.
To be inseparable, united and in perfect symbiosis, to have the same thoughts and attitudes: these are the characteristics of a fusional love.
A fusional love is a love filled with passion for one another.
This type of love can be beautiful, but also the cause of many problems in the relationship.
This type of relationship can involve risks, in particular the breakup of the two lovebirds.
The breakup may be due to emotional dependence on the partner or the loss of a personal social life.
It is still essential to explain fusional love in order to define its specificities.
Fusional love, what is it?
Fusional love is a particularly strong bond of affection between two people.
One has the feeling of living in harmony with the other, of not being able to live when one of the partners is absent.
Osmosis and affinity are felt in the complementarity of thoughts and behaviors.
Fusional love manifests itself from the start of the relationship and the two beings feel like they complement each other in all things and become inseparable.
The couple are in their bubble in an exclusive relationship.
It is love at first sight that is expressed by an intense relationship with a partner who seems to understand us without opening their mouths.
Living a fusional love is beautiful for the couple with benefits for those who know how to keep their independence.
Indeed, to make this type of relationship last, the couple needs to have their own way of life, to be different in certain aspects, to put distance in their relationships to make them healthy and balanced.
The best way not to fall for it is for everyone to have their friends, interests and habits.
For a fusional love to survive over time, the couple must have the same vision of the relationship.
It is about the balance of the couple.
As soon as one perceives the relationship differently, more dependent on the other, conflicts can arise.
This situation has an incident on the relationship causing enormous damage to the relationship of the couple.
In short, a fusional love must be able to involve common interests for the survival of the couple.
Otherwise, the passion at the beginning can turn into real nightmares.
The dangers of close love can be fatal for a couple and lead to a breakup.
The reasons for this breakup are identifiable and preventable if the couple wishes to unite for life.
Affective dependence, a danger for the couple
Among the reasons for breaking up linked to a fusional love, we have emotional dependence.
It comes from a permanent need of the other.
The flaw in this type of relationship is that one partner feels smothered and the relationship becomes unlivable.
The emotional dependence in these cases manifests itself in depression, a sickly jealousy to the point of causing intense moments of stress.
This dependence arises when the partner breaks away from this fusion to create his own universe.
The early merger gives way to a need to have one’s own activities, to organize events or outings with other people.
The goal is not to be just the two of you anymore, but to create your own world.
However, the other partner thinks they can do nothing without the other, and is submissive to their relationship.
The recurrence of this detachment can give rise to perpetual quarrels, abandonment and finally rupture.
Affective dependence has repercussions on the couple, especially if the relationship becomes a burden.
The incessant calls, questioning and intolerable behavior for example are situations that can give rise to the desire to cut all contact and end the relationship.
When you start to feel your partner’s distant and irritable, it’s clear that these are the harbingers of a breakup.
Until the partner is able to understand the reasons for the distance or the need to always be two, the couple cannot cope with this situation.
The best way to avoid a breakup is to step out of your bubble and accept the other’s choices.
Indeed, the stress imposed by marital problems is a brake on the development of the couple.
One must be able to show care without alienating oneself and losing one’s identity.
In a couple, good functioning also comes from the ability to put in it.
In a fusional story, the couple is imbued with a great risk of loneliness and isolation.
In fact, we adapt to what the other likes and dislikes, to what he wants to do or not.
We live at the rate of dependence in all things on anything that could bring us closer.
The idea is to share special moments confined to two or with people you both appreciate.
The entourage, to be able to last, must be appreciated by both parties.
Otherwise, a distance is established so as not to anger the spouse.
The goal is to please the other person in all circumstances.
Unfortunately, the consequences can be serious, as they can be loved ones that you don’t necessarily want to lose sight of.
To remedy this, we try, for example, to create a personal social life, that is to say outside the couple.
At first, the couple seem beautiful, but over time it gets annoying.
Clearly, a fusional love leads to losing this personal social life for the benefit of the happiness of the couple.
This becomes a danger for the relationship, as we need to miss each other to rekindle the flame.
Seeing each other too much can develop disgust for each other, the impression that their world revolves around the relationship.
The early enthusiasm is slowly disappearing.
The couple begins to rub off on individual needs and desires.
This loss of social life is sufficient reason for the breakup, because the partners have lost the passion of the beginnings.
The situation leads to relationship troubles, social withdrawal with significant prejudices.
Substituting for the other prevents you from asserting your personality.
Whereas the couple’s goal is to create happiness and not to cause more stress in the relationship.
The breakup is therefore imminent if the couple fails to overcome the early merger to consider a compromise so that the relationship works better.
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